Saturday, July 10, 2010

Why do people suffer?

Suffering is a part & parcel of life. Name a person who hasn’t suffered in life…it’s a guarantee you won’t be able to name a single person who hasn’t suffered. Everybody suffers be it a billionaire or a beggar. Have you ever thought why do people suffer?
Why is there so much suffering in this world?
There are various reasons of suffering. Failure is one such example. This failure also has varied dimensions but the most comes basically from one thing. I will lead you to the suffering a person faces since his birth till he dies with the various phases of life. The reason of this suffering would be crystal clear by the time I finish.

1) Childhood
A new born child of 3 months cries when he doesn’t see his mother around. Why does the baby cry?
Childhood are often called the best part of one’s life & child is said to be closest to god because he is free from all the evils of this world but then also a child suffers. This suffering is because he expects his mother to be in his side all the time.

2) Friendship and bachelor’s life
Suffering is something which can be best understood by those who has gone through all the ups and downs of life. We know a person cannot live alone throughout his life, during the life’s journey he meets many people some come and go, some become part of his life but there are rare few whose existence or absence plays a major role in one’s life and this suffering goes along with the absence of those people.
A person grows up makes friend and in the time being becomes so accustomed with his friend that even his absence makes them unhappy. To some extent the suffering of aloneness is the most endemic and widespread.
No person in this world is perfect or is similar to the other a famous saying states that birds of same feathers flock together but being practical about things even the twins have lot of differences among them. Even the best friends have dissimilarities between them when we get along with friends it’s often seen we start expecting from them & even a single decision which is against our desires or in another way a single step your friend take without your knowledge makes you feel cheated. For example… your best friend who shares everything with you but due to some reasons he/she hides about his/ her love life with you & you come to know about it through some common friends, when you want to clarify the matter with your best friend he/she denies the fact which infact is a truth…how would you feel? Cheated isn’t it?
You will suffer. The basic reason of your suffering is your expectations. You expected your best friend to speak everything to you.
Just think from a different angle is there any instance where you have taken decisions for you best friend without consulting him/her? I know you will always think the best for your best friend but it is quite possible your friend wanted to tell you and you came to knew it before hand. It is quite possible he/she denied because he/she wanted to give you a surprise or was waiting for the appropriate moment to tell you. Friends’ thing can go from bad to worse in split of seconds but to maintain a friendship it takes much more then breaking a relationship & forgetting everything. Why not forgive your friend just for the sake of friendship.
3) Education and professional life
A person who clears all the rounds of his recruitment in Indian air force doesn’t see his name in the short lists. He suffers, why?
He is suffering because he is expecting his name to be short listed as he cleared all the hurdles. During the student or the professional life everybody comes up to a phase where he doesn’t get what he expected or what he deserves. This is life you have to take each set back as another stepping stone for your success…have an attitude not to give up….success will be your one day.

4) Married life
A person marries a girl & shares all his past life with his wife ao that in future they might not face any queries about his past. But the girl hides some of her past life, which after many years comes to the ears of the husband. How would the husband feel? Betrayed isn’t it?
The reason of suffering of the husband is because just like himself he expected his life partner would tell her everything. Things have turned to a situation where I must clear few things because these few things could make or break one’s life.
As I said earlier no two person are equal therefore their thinking, their nature doesn’t need to be the same as their partner. You have disclosed everything to your partner & you expect the same from her…but may be because of fear, self prestige or introvert nature she didn’t share her past to you. Don’t take this as betrayal and the best part of life is lived when you don’t try to change things but change yourself according to the circumstances & therefore marriage is successful when you accept the other person the way they are.

5) Retired life
An elderly couple who sacrificed everything just to see his son leading a better life be it education or anything else in return their son throws them out of home. The old parents suffer because they expected his son would take care of them. This is indeed the cruel aspect of life people cannot live without depending on others & when elderly parents expect their son to stand right next to them, his ward forgets about his ageing parents love and sacrifice. He forgets what his parents have done for him. The only place left for them is the old age home.

I have tried through examples how suffering varies during a life span the reason for all the suffering lies behind a single word ‘EXPECTATIONS’. Yup’s you are right this expectations is the major factor for all the failures, depression and suffering in this world a very famous saying from the ‘ VAGWAD GITA’ states that we mustn’t bother about the result & shouldn’t expect instead we should only bother about doing the best we can do & leave the rest to the almighty. Everybody gets what he/she deserves sooner or later.

Success is fulfilling your expectations where as suffering is not getting what you expected…


  1. THANKS fro suggesting and i apologize to one and all that i must have written it 'VAGWAD GITA' and not 'GITA'

  2. Expectations is actually the root cause of all our problems!!

    1. not suffer should never expect from anybody...and if you get anything's a blessing in disguise :)


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