Thursday, May 9, 2013

Debauchers are NOT born in Terrorist centers


Few months back there was a terrible incident in our national Capital Delhi…There were huge protests and rallies across the country and abroad citing for the most gruesome punishment for the person who committed such Heinous Crime. There were people demanding for Capital punishment among others who deemed life time imprisonment to be the most appropriate penalty. In one of my article -Journey of a woman, I too adduced my views as far as punishment is concerned, a penalty which would inculcate the mass, and if any person think of committing anything horrendous their souls’ be stirred thinking of the retribution.  Unfortunately neither our Constitution nor our law making body can impose such a law.


There were Slogans like –“Teach your son to behave before you point your finger towards any girl.”
Yes, teaching is required and it should begin right from home in each and every household of India…As I believe- “Debauchers are not born in Terrorist centers, they are amongst us and we are as much responsible for their wrong doings as they themselves are.


Now coming back to the point …If you crosscheck the age group of the culprits…you would realize they would briskly fall in the range 16 to 65… which means a culprit knows very well what he is doing and he isn’t worried or ashamed about his deeds either because of ineffective laws or a result of their upbringing.  I would speak to the extent more than the in efficacious policies of our constitution it’s our society, family and the environment where we are brought up is responsible for such alarming rate of increase of these atrocities. I know, no parent would teach their ward for commending such brutal acts but can you tell me when was the last time you heard a parent or the friend circle taught you to look a girl like your own mother, sister or daughter? When was the last time you saw a guy in the corner of a street looking a girl with respect rather than the lustful eyes?

From our School, we have grown by reciting the verses of pledge - “India is my country. All Indians are my brothers and sisters.”  You would hardly find any person abiding by the pledge but will find plenty who would make mockery of our pledge by speaking words like –‘If all Indians are my brothers and sisters than whom will I marry, a foreigner?’  Pledge is not about any daily chores which we do unintentionally but an activity which is being taught in every school so that we may grow up respecting people across genders among various other values.  Sex education is considered a taboo. Neither teacher in school nor parents at home are willing to teach their ward about the essential part of a human life. The result -lads grow by being taught by filthy magazines and movies which erode their mind with soiled thinking. Even C-Grade movies are termed educational. I have seen ample examples where a simple talk to a girl or inviting a friend (girl) to your house is highlighted by friends and society in the wrong way…and I believe –“Female assailants are not a result of a day’s fault…it’s the result of the cumulative impression about the gender female that grows from childhood.



Onlookers may suspect I am supporting the cause of Women and am speaking as if there’s no fault of females…but I must say I am neutral in my views and this would surely clear all doubts…Yes, Girls are also to be blamed for their fate in many cases…knowing it very well about the mentality of Men around don’t you think it’s their fault by wearing provoking dresses and going out at wrong places at wrong time of the day.  I know it’s a person’s choice of what they wear and where they go but looking around about the society don’t you think a girl should be alert enough to her surrounding by not giving wrong signals?


A girl today is a mother tomorrow and a mother is much responsible for their child’s behavior be it a son or a daughter.
It’s said you teach a man you teach a person…you teach a woman you teach a generation. And when a woman is taught (either by circumstances or by society) about the wrong ideals it grows through the generation. How many families you know or seen where there is discrimination amongst their Son and Daughter?  Dowry is considered Evil but you would mostly find a mother in law (who is a woman herself) being the main reason behind an evil system that’s going on for generations. 

When you cannot control and preach equality amongst your children…it’s useless to think of justice in society
 It’s said Charity starts from home…it simply means when you have to be benevolent amongst your family members first to shower you kindness to the world.


Another regretful fact about debauchers is that almost 80% of these sexual abuses are committed by known people like friends and distance a family member…which again compels one to look at the root of these evils that is our family and our surroundings.

Therefore I believe the role of parents has increased to a manifold as a parent now, not only needs to teach their children to respect and look up both the genders equally but they should themselves behave ideally. It’s a parent’s duty to know about their wards surrounding like their friends group and the people they meet regularly.  They should take to their task about the behavior of their ward and the language they speak (especially when you found your ward speaking of any foul language) and should keep a close eye on the people they interact via social media, internet or the traits they follow by the movies they see. I am not talking of keeping restriction on all but one should carefully monitor about the timing and clothes their ward wears and places they visit.  It’s said Parents should become friends to their son/daughter after the age of 18 but I believe they should be friends right from their birth as such you and your children share everything with each other and in this way you would know what your child is going through from thick and thin and thus will be able to evade any mishaps in future as I firmly believe -

Debauchers are not born in Terrorist camps…they are born out from the surroundings they grow in and it’s a cumulative Impression they form right from their childhood.

20 comments:

  1. it's true that criminals reside among us.we should be alert enough to point out them. It is now a social and community responsibility.

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    1. More than the social or Community it...ours responsibility...a responsibility of each and every citizen of our country...to teach our young generation right from their birth so as to we don't face anything similar in future...!!!

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  2. we are talking about this issue for so long and protesting hard but not even a little change.. quite a sad truth and we are still helplessly living with it. no one can change a corrupted mind unless he himself is willing to. good and a very much needed post.

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    1. Unfortunately...there isn't any magic wand which could change the mentality of a person who has grown by treating woman as an object to fulfill their physical desires...and therefore a person with such mentality cannot change unless they are given penalty of a degree where each and every person get to understand the severity of their heinous act...and for others(young generation) we have to start preaching it right from our household...!!!

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  3. I agree with most of the points you said but the para where u stated that girls wearing provoking clothes, Iwonder what was 5 year old girl wearing that provoked a man to rape her?

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    1. Thant entire para started with a statement--- "knowing the mentality of men......" which means it's applicable to all those females who has the understanding of what provoking is and what isn't ...there are examples of even 60 year females who are dragged from their houses and assaulted but you cannot simply give that example to surpass those females who are responsible for their fate...similarly giving an example of a 5 year child can never bypass the fault of woman who are old enough to know what decency is...!!!

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  4. One good solution is the one you've suggested: parents being friends to their children. Children should be taught the value of good relationships, the value of other people as people and not as objects... the value of human values...

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    1. Thank you sir for complimenting my views...and as i see it...this is something which seems more probable...yes it will take time but our future generation would surely be able to lead a life of values ...which would include respecting people irrespective of Gender.

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  5. Anjan .. bottomline is teaching of morality , humanity and awakening of spiritual connect is mandatory . It should be a govt initiative to promote such get together and the responsibility should be given to all the religious institutions and being made mandatory for all from 5 -65 , men and women !
    This is the only practical solution for killing the devil once and for all .Laws and constitutions would punish devils after they commit crime ...

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    1. I respect your views...and there's no doubt govt. initiative would surely be a help...but i have a different view...

      Do we send children to school or to any institution to learn manners,Courtesy, Respect for elders? These traits are borne out in homes...from our parents...and teaching like respect off all genders or morality is only a step ahead of learning manners...and as such more than relying on govt or any outside help...we should start preaching it right from our homes...!!!

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  6. Our society being patriarchal, women don't get their dignified places they deserve. Parents never teach their sons how to respect women in the society. So. male children grow up in a circumstance where women are inferior to men. I agree with you. It becomes incumbent on the part of parents to teach their sons the necessity of being humane to women.

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    1. Yes...Sir that was exactly what i was trying to say through my Post...it should be the responsibility of Us...not only the parents but all elders to groom our next generation where their is Equality and not a patriarchal society...Thank you so much for your Views...!!!

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  7. What you have touched upon is quite a contemporary set of concepts but I have a slightly different perspective. Do girls stand on the corner and observe men with disdain, lust or respect? No. Then why even put this point ahead that teach your children to see women with respect. Do we ever say that teach your daughters to see all men like your fathers or sons or brothers?No. The answer lies here in what we need is not reservation or special status but equal status. What we need is to stop talking about highlighting women. We need to stop seeing them as family respect or heirlooms. We need to see them as human beings normal everyday quite banal elements who at best should be ignored. Thats what we need. We put too much stress on "women" and so unknowingly we generate a certain limelight around her. All women want is that they should be taken as equals not special..

    I may have ranted off a bit :D

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    1. I agree to all your points...and that's why i emphasized on teaching your child right from childhood...yes i emphasized on teaching because...whatever you said in the points above doesn't perspire in a day...it all comes from the roots that's the families and homes...where women are not given equal status... and there fore there is a need to teach...because...to improve a situation at hand one needs to look for the roots and rectify problem from therein... Don't take teaching in a wrong way...its similar to that of educating your child with morals or with good behavior... i only named it as teaching but to be exact it is passing up of a trait which we call equality...

      It was good as you came out with your thoughts...and at my space a healthy discussion is always welcomed...!!!

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  8. Very well written Anjan... It is true that a society need equal contribution from both the genders. Education, empowerment and justice need to work together hand in hand in order to make life better.

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    1. Very rightly pointed ...i was trying to stress this very point and yes we need to have equal contribution to make our future generation a better place to live in...!!!

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  9. A very compelling read. It is time that we understand that these criminals are made by the society and the society is rotting at an alarming pace. However, instead of looking within, we are too busy blaming a third party, the Western World.

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    1. Whatever we are facing today it's because of us only...how can we achieve humanity or equality when we ourselves preach biasing?
      and you have rightly pointed out...instead of pointing fingers to the world...one must look at their own vicinity first.

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  10. A very well compiled post... This is an age old situation in our country.... You have rightly pointed out that educating our children we could make a difference in future.....

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    1. you know when i was writing about this post...i was wondering will a harsh or rigid punishment completely suffice our problems...the answer is no...until and unless we change our mentality nothing is going to change...so the next question was how can we change our mentality? this could be done only at the initial stages of childhood where child forms an opinion about a gender or in that matter anything else...so i come up with teaching of our young as the most probable solution...!!!

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