Tuesday, August 24, 2010

STRUGGLE FOR LOVE…

Those who have read my blogs would know I write on love stories which are incomplete…you will find thousands of those who write love stories with a happy ending…I certainly don’t want to fall in the same queue….so I write stories which are incomplete….it’s just to make the readers realize that real life stories are not any Bollywood sequel. Only a certain percentage of real life stories are successful but majority of them end in tragedies which go unnoticed and finally they are swallowed by time and are present only at the heart of their closed ones like that of ancient history…here is a story which could have been complete but …
How far can you go in one sided love? What best can you do for the person you love without hurting her? When do you realize that your chapter is finally closed?
I won’t answer any of these questions as I normally do…but you have to gauze the answers by yourself.
This story or the things described are confidential and are not known to anybody except the couple. The friend who is referred below is an imaginary creation…and no such person in real life exists who knows about all this incidences.
One diehard fan of Hrithik Roshan was overheard saying
Rohit: you know life is of 4 stages, stage 1-koi mil gaya, stage 2-lakshya, stage 3- kaho na pyar hai, 4- yaadein
Friend: you are Hrithik freak what if your end will be that of his latest flick kites?
Rohit: I believe in doing what I can do…if my future is kites then I will face it with my arms open…
Friend: by the way which stage are you in presently?
Rohit: the last stage where there is only remembrance of what could have been a life worth living…
Friend: and after that?
Rohit: is there a life after death? The question you are asking is similar to life after death which is meaningless.
Friend: it seems you have so much pain hidden within you…will you like to share your story.
Rohit: there is no point describing a story which doesn’t have a starting…
Friend: your story never started? But I have heard you never gave up until the very end; at least you can share your struggle so that everyone among us could substantiate your love which was no more than one sided affair…but still you are ready to accept everything as your fate?
Rohit: well… I don’t want to; as she said it’s private and confidential… I don’t think it would make any issue if I disclose it now…as it’s long past and it would certainly not restrain her present or future.
Friend: it seems as if you are talking of some hidden treasure…
Rohit: what do you expect after proposing a girl…either yes or no isn’t it?
Friend: yup…but what if she is angry and beat you with her sandal?
Rohit: jokes apart…she gave me a letter…of 8 pages (including both sides of the pages)
Friend: a letter?
Rohit: I won’t go through the entire letter…but the essence, because of which I came so far in one sided love.
Friend: carry on…by the way what’s her name?
Rohit: Sonia…
Rohit: the letter which she gave to me….
Rohit,
This letter contains the answer of the question you had asked. The things I am writing to you is absolutely true. It’s private and confidential. Please do not disclose it to anyone. I am not taking any promise from you because I trust you. I do not fear the disclosure but the thing is that I do not want anyone to make fun of my feelings as nobody will believe this.
I have loved someone very much. But you know what, he is no more in my life, he is no more in this world. He went far away from me, very far, breaking all his promises leaving me lonely and alone. I will never forget him. I still love him. I still cry for him. I still believe that he will come back to his love one day atleast to fulfill all the promises he made. You will think this is impossible, but it is still possible for me.
I can see him in the moon; I can see him in the stars. I can see him smiling at me and whispering in my ears “Sonia, you have to live a long life, I am there with you always. Do not loose hope. Look ahead, so beautiful is life same as your smile, same as your twinkling eyes. So lovely like our love!”
But how can I make him understand life cannot be beautiful without him. I still live for him.
You know what Rohit, now tears are rolling down my eyes, but I am still writing with a heavy heart because I am unable to stop myself today.
God has taken him away from me. Even today before going to the bed, I search for the moon, stars and the lonely sky just to say ‘good night’ and my heart cries “come back, please come back ! I am lonely without you. Why did you leave me alone in this long journey of life. I need you please come back.
Rohit, I love him, it’s just impossible to live without him. No one can understand my feelings. He is my first love and love happens only once. I cannot love anyone else. I never made anyone feel that I have so much to say, behind my eyes, there are so many tears. They come down when I am alone recollecting his memories. He taught me how to love someone, how to feel for someone, how to cry for someone and how to miss someone.
Did you ever thought after seeing me that such can happen in my life? Now also if you see me, you can’t read my silence, you can’t read my heart and you will never understand me and my feelings. Only he understood me. He could even read my silence, my mind and heart. I still love him.
He may not have any existence for the world, he may not have any existence for you but for me he still exists. He is still there for me in my life, in my memories and I can live with that. I can’t give his position that he has is in my heart, to anybody.
Did you ever feel for me in such a way? If you say yes, then I will say no, because you cannot read or understand my silence, you cannot see the “Sonia” that is inside. You have only loved the Sonia you are seeing outside, you have never loved the Sonia that is silent, that is shy, and that is still living for her dead love. So I am saying you don’t love me and you have never loved me before also.
His Sonia
Friend: oh my god… what did you do then?
Rohit: you know the best medicine you can give to someone who is suffering from such a trauma…is let the person know that you are beside her… throughout her life. You know time heals everything and I thought I would make her forget all her past with my love…but sadly that wasn’t to be.
Friend: what did you do then?
Rohit: I thought she would be irritated if I forcefully try to come into her life so…I left her alone for few days… and then after 2-3 months I called her.
Here’s the conversation between us
Rohit: hello Sonia…
Sonia: …Rohit…!!! I thought you forgot me.
Rohit: Sonia you know you are my heart beat the day it stops beating I will not be alive.
Sonia: don’t speak like this…
Rohit: you know today is friendship day… happy friendship day to you…
Sonia: same to you.
Rohit: I will call back after some time ok.. bye bye for now…
Sonia: bye.
____________________________**************************_______________________________
Friend: so everything was fine…
Rohit: whenever I thought everything is fine…the reverse happens…
Friend: what happened then?
Rohit: you know my whole intentions were to heal all her past debacle.
Friend: so you couldn’t heal them?
Rohit: never…I tried my best but whenever I came close…unimaginable happens…as one day she spoke that she loves me…
Friend: so what did you reply?
Rohit: I was out of my mind…as I never expected her to say this to me… I loved her and I would speak about my love now and then…but it was totally unimaginable…
Friend: you said ‘whenever you think its fine the reverse happens’?
Rohit: yup… I didn’t know that it was the last time that she is speaking about her love for me as everything changed in splits…
Friend: ??
Rohit: slowly and slowly she distanced me from her life and one fine day I came to know that she loves somebody else…
Friend: what? She was flirting with you? What about that letter she gave to you?
Rohit: I don’t know what was she doing with me…and about that letter…I didn’t realize the depth when she gave it to me & I am still trying to understand what she meant …but the way things turned up for me….i wrote a similar letter to one girl named ‘shruti ahuja’ who fell in love with me during my college days…
Friend: are you kidding?
Rohit: shruti wasn’t the type of girl I thought…as she decided to go beyond my letter to know about everything…and somehow she contacted Sonia and her college friends…I don’t know what happened and what she spoke to them but things turned worse for me…
Friend: what happened?
Rohit: I knew Sonia was going away from me with every passing day…but shruti made my wounds grew deeper as Sonia cut all her contacts from me after conversing me about shruti .
Friend: what did you speak to shruti then? Didn’t you try to speak to Sonia?
Rohit: I never talked with shruti again…but shruti gave me a phone number of one of Sonia’s college mate. When all my efforts of talking to Sonia failed… I thought I should call to the number which shruti gave to me.
Friend: ok…
Rohit: I called him…and asked about Sonia…that guy helped me a lot…gave contact numbers of both Sonia and his boy friend. I called Sonia but that number didn’t exist…so one day I gave his boy friend a message…
Friend: what did you speak to him?
Rohit: I wrote-“I don’t know whether you know me or not…in any case there is no need to know me. You love Sonia don’t you? Sonia has faced a lot of pain in her past…you are the only one who can make her forget her past and make her happy…which I could never do…my best wishes for you and Sonia’s future.
Friend: so you gave it up?
Rohit: first listen to me…that guy replied me the next day…”thank you for best wishes. yeah I love her a lot. We both are happy together. Probably you are Rohit, right? I will keep her so happy that her past will not get any chance in here future. Ok bye…
Friend: what did you reply…
Rohit: you know the day I proposed her…she gave me the letter…from that day…I only wished her happiness…I only wished that she should forget all her past…by now I have also become her past…but the main thing is, she is happy now…and that’s what I want…so I replied wishing him “be happy and fulfill all your dreams which unfortunately I could never do”.
Friend: you know one thing you are a coward…you left your love just because someone else loves her?
Rohit: you are wrong…she loves her…if she would have loved me…I would have never thought of going away from her…
Friend: that means you accept your defeat?
Rohit: have you seen the movie ‘Namaste London’? Did you ever notice akshay kumar forcing her love to come back to her? Did you ever notice akshay kumar trying to snatch his love from the person the girl loved? He went to the church holding her hand for the marriage of her beloved that too with somebody else. You know you cannot force your love to come to you…if she would realize my love she would return to me…and I would be waiting for her throughout my life. She might choose to go away from me…but whenever she needs me…she will always find me beside her.
Friend: did you ever try to talk to her instead of leaving it on fate?
Rohit: talk??? What do you want to know?? About the countless calls and messages I sent her…unfortunately later she changed her number. I tried to contact all her common friends with whom she might have contact. I even tried to contact his father’s colleagues. I went to his father’s school which was 1000’s of kilometers from my college just to know about her. I roamed along the streets many days to find any clue about her…asking from door to door whether anybody knew anything about her. I went to her college to get her phone no and address…I got the address and the phone number. I called Sonia but she refused to meet me…she called me to her college but then also she didn’t meet me. I did all this by bunking my classes… not months but 3 years passed like this….whenever I got chance I tried my best to contact her. Just few days back I thought I should go to her home. I went there but came to know she left the place a year ago. I again went to her college but this time…I couldn’t get any of her information. Whatever I could I did…did I tell you about my tears…might seem like crocodile’s to someone…but fate wasn’t with me…you know my friends say if anybody in this earth is truly in love that’s me.
Friend: then why are you losing hope and giving it all?
Rohit: you know there is very little difference between fighting for your love and irritating your love…I did whatever I could. I don’t want to irritate her…I don’t want to create any more problems in her life…I KNOW NOBODY LOVES HER MORE THAN ME…NOT EVEN HER PARENTS…AND I CAN PROVE IT ANY DAY IF GIVEN A CHANCE…BUT LOVE IS NOT PROVED IT’S FELT…IF SHE COULD EVER FEEL MY LOVE SHE WOULD COME BACK TO ME…I want her to be happy and she is happy…without me. I didn’t loose neither did I gave up…i am still waiting for her to come back to me…because I believe true love never dies.
Friend: Rohit you know people like you makes me feel…true love really exist…but it’s hurting to see your fate…the fate of one sided love story…I don’t think anybody ever has suffered and struggled for his love like you…hats off to you…
________________________________********************_________________________________

This is only a part of Rohit’s story…each and every day of Rohit can be added up, right from the first time Rohit met Sonia and can composed in ‘struggle for love’…but then it would not remain a blog but a story…a story which is incomplete… a story which in itself is a misery right from the beginning till the end…did I say end? Well the end is still to be written and I believe there is still some twist left…till then…make sure your life doesn’t turn up as it turned up for Rohit.
Love is a beautiful feeling and it’s the sweetest when you are in love. But it turns sour when it goes upside down. You can’t imagine how sour it can be unless you have gone through it…believe me love is something that can change your entire life…in a positive way but it can also ruin your life if it fails…everyone wants to be successful in love…but life doesn’t give everyone the same opportunity to be successful…cheers to those who are happy with their love life but my heartiest applaud to those who inspite of loosing are still surviving like anybody else…and are still waiting for their love to come back to them…
Long live the people who truly love…and long live the people who are loved by them.

6 comments:

  1. good one... but wish we cud have get to known the ending of the story soon.

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  2. you know the interest from the story ends the moment we tend to know the end beforehand...you must have also heard about the famous hindi saying 'sabr ka fal meetha hota hai'.

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  3. .... can i know how it ended as it is really sad to read that Rohit was still waiting for her...is he still waiting for her?

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    1. I would have continued with story or wrote about it through sequels if it were to go anywhere beyond...this is it...this is the complete story...& yes Rohit is still waiting...

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    2. That is so unfair... I would say Rohit should move on with his life as maybe that person was never destined to be in his life at all!!

      I sometimes wonder what God would have been thinking when He made them go through all this..

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    3. Personally, kind of thinking i have...i would not ask him to move on...it's quite right it may be possible that the girl was never destined to be in his life...but my point is, as always is: Commitment to 1 girl throughout one's life...though i don't believe life after death but wherever he may be he can held his head high up to face god and ask him...what was my fault?

      it's time for me to remind you the story you yourself is very well versed with (OSO) If it isn't a happy ending...then the story isn't complete...!!!

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