The Biggest Mistake

The entire life span of human being can be broadly classified into two stages. The two stages are 1) Bachelor life and 2) Married life. These two stages have contrasting features regarding the life style, attitude, behavior and thinking of person involved. It’s the rule of the universe people are meant to change over the period and those who don’t stagger through out their life. My topic is basically concerned to the 1st half of the life that’s the bachelor life.
Bachelor life according to some are the best part of human life and the happiest one too where they have least to think about the responsibilities and can live their life the way they want. People give priorities to what they want during this first half of their life. According to few it’s their career where as few go for friendship and there are distinct people whose 1st priority is love. These priorities vary with person to person.
People often ask given a choice between career and love what will be your option? Another question can be if you have to choose between friendship and love whom will you give the 1st priority. These questions seem very easy when asked as random but when you are deeply involved with these things the selection becomes much difficult then they seem to be.
The 3rd combination may be friendship and career but as we all know friendship has nothing to with career or the status of a person. Friends are friends even if you are a millionaire or a petty worker. Friendship never comes between one’s career as friends never seek friends on one’s grade (career). Friendship is not done for reasons and those who do are certainly not friends. I would suggest people to be away with those people who make friends for reasons as true friends seldom want anything from you. You are his/her friend this is more then enough for friendship.
My opinion will surely vary from one person to other. As far as the first question is concerned between career and love it depends on the thinking level as well as the maturity of the person. Many would say love is the soul of life, correct me if I am wrong if you don’t have a career then how would you feed your beloved (taking into consideration you are a male). Love doesn’t mean loving each other or spending life together it comes with immense responsibilities and many earthly matters which could be understood only when you start living together, that’s the reason why many love marriages fail in real life because they seldom look into other aspects of life other then love when they first get bonded together. Yes love is immortal but career has much effect on your love life. Being practical about things 99.9% times love succeeds when you have a career behind you other wise you would land up on a loosing side no matter how strong your love may be during your initial stages. All love bonding would give away when you don’t have a career behind you. According to me if love is true it can wait. It can wait until you stand upon your feet and can take independent steps regarding your life. I am not saying you should neglect your love and get deeply involved with your career. But when it comes between your love and career the first priority should be given to the one where your deepest interest lies. You should be in a position where you should realize which one to choose between the two because any wrong step would lead you missing the other through out your life. As far as my wits are concerned love if true will always give you a second chance to come into your life. I must make my point clear, I am not talking about 2nd love or anything like that I am talking about the true love giving you a 2nd chance to come into your life. But if you take a wrong step regarding your career you would always rue to the fact that you lost both your career and love( as I spoke earlier without career love seldom does find a way) because you didn’t take the right step at the first hand.
The first question was somewhat easier to tackle but the next question is the one where most people make a mistake and often it turns out to be a blunder for their future. Given a choice to choose between friend and love same person will give different opinion at different stages of their life. It not only varies with person to person but also from mental condition of same person at different specified time. This question is often referred to as asking a person to select between heart and brain, knowing the fact that the loss of any of the two would mean his death. The selection of one option in these stressing circumstances signifies the real character of a person.

To understand this crucial matter let me take an example of person named Anshuman who fell in love with one of his close friend. It was only when he knew that he might loose even his friendship he became much more circumspect in disclosing his love. The day he spoke about his love, he wasn’t much worried of the love rejection but the major worry was that he might loose his friend too. He spoke his heart to his beloved only when his beloved agreed whatever he may speak next; they both will be friends forever. But as I said earlier even a small err in taking a step makes you loose both your love and friendship, the same was the case with Anshuman as he never got his love but lost his friend forever. People won’t say he did a mistake but it was certainly a mistake when you look at the outcome of his life. Even the last time he talked with the person he loved he did mention that he loved her but in return he just asked her “do you atleast consider me your friend”. That girl didn’t reckon him even her friend. At that very instant Anshuman knew there is no road ahead for him and the most deplorable thing was that whatever he feared that came out to be true i.e. he fell in love and neither he got love nor his friendship survived. This indeed is the biggest mistake; he chose love ahead of friendship. Many would disagree with me and would say what’s wrong in speaking about your love to the person you love but my point is does it make any sense if the other person concerned has no feelings moreover you loose your much priced friendship?
This indeed was the biggest mistake of Anshuman but it isn’t the mistake only for Anshuman but for all those people who give preference to love rather then friendship. We must be acquainted with the fact that friendship can exist without love but love can’t exist without friendship. I know people will still argue that whatever Anshuman did can’t be considered as a mistake but according to me it’s a mistake because the entire universe is bothered about the result & the final outcome. Suppose a person studies day and night for his exams but he fails, everybody would say he didn’t study. Irrespective of the effort he made he would be conceived as a person who didn’t work hard for his exams. Similar is this situation people see the final outcome and the final outcome of Anshuman was that he lost his friend just because he fell in love with her, no matter what his feelings are for that girl, no matter how much he loves her, he will neither get his love nor his friend, so it’s a mistake in fact ‘THE BIGGEST MISTAKE ‘of his life.
Thank god I didn’t have to face such situations in my life otherwise god only knows what I would have done as it’s much easier to speak rather then facing it practically. it’s almost the end of our 1st phase of life as everyone have their career set straight ahead of them and would be looking to enhance their vocation in the near future and then comes the 2nd stage of life. As far as I am concerned I am happy with my life at present and would like to remain in this phase in the near future also.

4 years of M.I.E.T: My 2nd home

This story isn’t about studies but the other side of it that we are going to miss when we have to live this college and this hostel after few days.
1st august 2006, a special day for me and all those 1st year students of a very little known engineering college Manohar bhai patel Institute of Engineering and Technology (M.I.E.T). It was the first day of our engineering and hostel life. I along with other first year students were standing with our head bent down, eyes pointing towards our toes as the seniors spoke about the rules and regulations of 1st year students. One of the final year senior was leading the show with his animated gestures. I was dumbstruck when he spoke the following lines.
“Five rules to be fulfilled by one and all to be an engineer”. Senior further said It may look absurd to you now but when you will leave this hostel after 4 years, you all will give the same directions to the first year students then. These are the basic guidelines once fulfilled you would become an ideal engineer and would enjoy your hostel life like never before.
1) You should give slangs as if you are reciting poems. Abusive words should be in your tongue whenever you open your mouth to speak. Mind it carefully; it’s applicable when you are talking with your batch mates and not to the seniors.
2) Drinking and smoking is a must. It’s the unique quality of engineers that separate them from any other field.
3) You should have a girlfriend not of a kind with whom you spend your entire life but a time pass for these 4 years.
4) Biking; you should drive bikes with almost no care of traffic or the people around. Ideal case would be driving at midnight at the weekends at full speed.
5) Last but not the least you should at least have one backlog in your engineering career.
These instructions were followed by other rules that we had to follow during our 1st one year. That was the day when I was more optimist about my 4 years ahead with lots of dreams and lot many things to be done.
Today when there’s only few weeks left in my hostel life. I am back in those days when seniors told about those ‘5 rule’. I didn’t fulfill any of those rule does that mean I didn’t enjoy my days out here or does that mean I didn’t become an ideal engineer that everyone is speaking of?
I enjoyed and would be missing these 4 years like anybody else. It would be difficult to explain what exactly I would miss so here I am narrating a typical day of my engineering life.
4:00 am I was glued to the computer screen typing something. My room mate entered the room after having a long chat with his girlfriend.
Roommate: Anjan you still awake? What are you doing? You have been typing since 9:30 pm
Me: nothing much writing a blog.
Roommate: you have classes tomorrow. You can complete your blog some other time go and sleep.
Me: I am on the verge of completion of this blog. I would be sleeping after I complete this blog. You have a nap and don’t forget to wake me up in case you wake before I do.
Roommate: ok! Goodnight.
12:15 pm (afternoon)
Roommate: Anjan wake up
Me: what’s the time?
Roommate: it’s 12:15
Me: oh god my classes. I missed the DSD (digital system design) class. I have to be present there for my optical class from 12:30
I ran to the college after freshening up and reached the college when the roll call was being made.
After the attendance
Mam: today we would be discussing about splicing of optical fiber cable.
I to one of my friend
Me: I have heard about the word slice and then I have heard about sprite where does this word splice come from?
Mam overheard me and said Anjan it seems you have something to speak on this topic.
Me: Mam. Actually I am hungry. I couldn’t have my breakfast because I was bit late for my breakfast.
Mam: when did you wake up?
Me: Mam 20 minutes back
Mam: (irritated) sit down and don’t create any nuisance in the class otherwise you would be spending the entire period in the canteen.
Me: sorry Mam
Within 40-45 minutes everyone again started gossiping
Mam: what happened to you all still 15 minutes left for the period?
Mam again saw me narrating something to my friend
Mam: Anjan what’s the matter?
Me: Mam, cricket match between India and Srilanka. I just got the sms that India won the toss and is batting. Everyone wants to go and see the match.
Mam: you people will never improve anyways I am in no mood to teach. you all can go.
After the lunch interval in the advanced microprocessor practical class
Mam: today you have to perform the 4th experiment
After 15-20 minutes
Me: at last I did it, the program is running
Friend: please check the match scores internet is connected.
Me: ok, it’s 120 for 1, no it’s a four it’s 124 for 1
Mam: Anjan what’s going on there?
Me: (hurriedly closing the Cricinfo site) Mam program 4 is running successfully.
Mam: nothing to get excited, show me the program. By the way what’s the score?
Me: Mam it’s 124 for 1.
Mam: go and watch the match without disturbing the people around here
Me: Mam attendance?
Mam: I have already marked you. If you speak another word you will be marked absent.
Me: …
Mam: Anjan get out.
In the T.V room

Let me first describe about the T.V room. It’s big enough to accommodate 70-80 people but whenever there’s any match more then 150 people gather there and the atmosphere after each boundary and each wicket seems as if we are in cricket stadium with people screaming after each ball with banners supporting their favourite team. The entire atmosphere is unimaginable unless you have seen a cricket match in the stadium.
India scored 276/5 in 50 overs, Srilanka in the reply started brilliantly were 80/0 after 13 overs. We thought it’s useless to watch the match so I along with few of my friends went to the court (often called as tennis court) but the interesting thing about this court is that cricket is being played here instead of tennis. After playing there for 1 hour news came from the T.V room that Harbhajan took 3 wickets and India are on top. We left the court and went back to the T.V room. India won the match eventually.
It was around 9:30 pm I was watching the post match presentation when my room mate called me.
Roommate: where the hell are you?
Me: watching the post match presentation.
Roommate: we are supposed to go out for the birthday celebration of your other roommate.
Me: you dress up I am coming in 5 minutes.
I along with 5 of my friends went out to the restaurant for the dinner. The dinner was superb everyone had drinks along with chicken. I was the exception being vegetarian & had mango juice instead of alcohol. It was around 11:30 pm we all decided to go and watch the night show (12:00 am to 3:00 am). The movie was ‘Pyar Impossible’. I thought the script writer of the movie stole the script form my life anyways the movie was superb. We reached hostel at around 4:00 am.
It was just a flashback of what I am going to miss in my future life. It’s not everyday that I spent my days like this but it’s just a reflection of how I enjoyed my life in those 4 years. It doesn’t have to be party every time there are many small things right from bunking classes, irritating the lecturers, having lunch in the mess along with friends, knocking bathroom in the morning, night walk in the college compound, eating vegetable rolls at 3-4 am in the night canteen, indoor cricket tournaments, practical class entertainment, birthday bumps to friends (I don’t celebrate my birthday anymore), festival celebration be it ID or Holi, discussing about life with roommates throughout the night. There are many more things that I am going to miss but the most is the entire hostel environment.
I am falling short of words in addressing what I am actually feeling today. So I am taking the words of the telugu movie ”happy days”. The 4 years of hostel /college is the happiest moment of one’s life. It’s not the end but the beginning of more purposeful life ahead.
Many of us would think what I achieved in these 4 years. To be frank no one comes here to achieve anything it’s just to increase the capacity to achieve in future. Hostel life is not about studies but it teaches us many basic things. After these 4 years we realize things in much better way be it friendship, what is right and what is wrong, what’s the meaning of helping people who are in need, what is caring for friends, what is sacrifice and the most important thing that i have learnt is to live for the happiness of others. I know it all after these 4 years.
Hostel indeed a second home to all of us. When I am just thinking about leaving this place tears are again coming out of my eyes but it’s a different reason now. I would miss my hostel warden Pandey sir who looked after us just as a parent would look for their child. It’s because of the attachment with the people of hostel and its atmosphere I really don’t want to go away from this place. It’s a place where I became the Anjan I am now. I never paid any heed to those ‘5 rules’ but my feelings for this hostel are like anybody else. It’s the bonding with this environment that makes me feel I am going to miss something important in my life ahead.

Dreams: do they really convey a meaning?

Dreams are something which everyone sees while they are asleep. Many a time’s people forget what they saw but on few occasion it strikes deep into one’s heart. Dreams are of various types few absurd and few that do have something hidden in them. Let me take to a dream of one of my hostel friend.
Few days before my exam one of my hostel friend came to me & said MR PHILOSOPHER you have the solution of every question isn’t it. Then why did I saw this dream & what does this mean.
Me: which dream?
Friend: in my dream I saw a beautiful girl in one of the practical class speaking to the lecturer something. I liked her in my first glimpse. I approached her and talked to her. I got both her name and the phone no. later when I told my friends about this incident they told me that the girl with the name doesn’t exist as she has died 3 years ago. And no one with that name studies in college at present. My friends also told me that the soul of this girl comes to this college every year but only a few people could see her.
Me: amazing dream
Friend: my life is hell in real life I never had any girlfriend, even in my dreams I see a girl who doesn’t exist. Can you tell me why did I see this dream?
Me: I don’t know you will believe or not but generally whatever we see in our dreams is what we really want. You told me you never had any girl friend but you always wanted one, that’s why you saw girl in your dream. You approached her and asked her phone no and name. You are also a pessimist who thinks a person like you can never have a girlfriend. Am I right?
Friend: pessimist… yes to some extent.
Me: because of your pessimist thinking you saw that the girl who doesn’t exist. Just because of your thinking you saw two contrasting things 1) you want a girl friend that’s why you saw a girl when others couldn’t .2)you think a person like you can never have a girlfriend. It’s the result of these thinking you saw that dream. Many dreams that we see are what we really want and think but are not feasible in our real life.
Friend: quite right. Now I know why you always say you dream of your school days and see all those people with whom you don’t have any contact.
Me: many dreams are like dejavu’s.
Friend: what’s that?
Me: sometime when we completely forget about the dream. But when these things happen in real life it seems as if we already knew these things would happen. You don’t know what’s actually going to happen but when it happens it seems to you that you already knew it was going to happen.
Friend: yes a lot of time these things do happen. We feel that we have experienced what happened.
Me: apart from these there are dreams that have some message from deep within the soul. We shouldn’t neglect those because sometimes our inner self realizes something that is bound to happen which we cannot realize with our naked eyes but our soul senses it and conveys it’s message through dreams. I know many would disagree with me that how is this possible. How can a soul convey a message? But the answer to this question is quite simple as well as complex in its extreme. There are many questions that science has no answer in the same way if you believe in soul concept then its belief but if you don’t then nothing can be explained to make a person believe in inner soul.
Friend: quite interesting, a person’s soul conveying a message through dreams.
Me: you know movies are work of fiction & it seldom does relate to any person’s life but there are few incidents which are taken from personal experience. You might have heard about the movie ‘IF ONLY’. The dream that the actor saw could have easily turned into reality and he would have lost his soul mate but the decision he made while trusting his soul made him achieve the unachievable.
Friend: trusting you instincts does help but I have never heard of trusting dreams. Do you really believe the concept of ‘IF ONLY’ was based on a real store as it was said?
Me: trust is something that has to be built within & not forced upon. As far as that movie is concerned a similar thing had happened with me too & I firmly believe in the reality of the script. One must watch this movie it may seem to be fiction but things do happen what had been displayed there. This movie would give you a new dimension to your thinking as well as change your ideas about dream.
Friend: that means whatever we see in our dreams has some significance and has some hidden messages within?
Me: no, not every dream. There are many dreams which are absurd and usually convey nothing. They appear because of undue excitement or freakishness of our thinking. Many times we see dreams which are related with our daily lives & we are so much involved in it that we see them in our dreams.
Friend: wow! It seams you have done philosophy on dreams too
Me: nothing like that I speak what I feel. I give words to my thinking and it turns out what you call philosophy. As far as dreams are concerned they are very special to me. Whatever I want in real life, I fulfill them in my dreams. Dreams may mean different things to different people but my dreams are what I really want in my life. It’s only because of my dream I know the aim of my life. Thus to me dreams are the ‘inner voice of the soul’.