Debauchers are NOT born in Terrorist centers

Few months back there was a terrible incident in our national Capital Delhi…There were huge protests and rallies across the country and abroad citing for the most gruesome punishment for the person who committed such Heinous Crime. There were people demanding for Capital punishment among others who deemed life time imprisonment to be the most appropriate penalty. In one of my article -Journey of a woman, I too adduced my views as far as punishment is concerned, a penalty which would inculcate the mass, and if any person think of committing anything horrendous their souls’ be stirred thinking of the retribution.  Unfortunately neither our Constitution nor our law making body can impose such a law.

There were Slogans like –“Teach your son to behave before you point your finger towards any girl.”
Yes, teaching is required and it should begin right from home in each and every household of India…As I believe- “Debauchers are not born in Terrorist centers, they are amongst us and we are as much responsible for their wrong doings as they themselves are.”


Now coming back to the point …If you crosscheck the age group of the culprits…you would realize they would briskly fall in the range 16 to 65… which means a culprit knows very well what he is doing and he isn’t worried or ashamed about his deeds either because of ineffective laws or a result of their upbringing.  I would speak to the extent more than the in efficacious policies of our constitution it’s our society, family and the environment where we are brought up is responsible for such alarming rate of increase of these atrocities. I know, no parent would teach their ward for commending such brutal acts but can you tell me when was the last time you heard a parent or the friend circle taught you to look a girl like your own mother, sister or daughter? When was the last time you saw a guy in the corner of a street looking a girl with respect rather than the lustful eyes?

From our School, we have grown by reciting the verses of pledge - “India is my country. All Indians are my brothers and sisters.”  You would hardly find any person abiding by the pledge but will find plenty who would make mockery of our pledge by speaking words like –‘If all Indians are my brothers and sisters than whom will I marry, a foreigner?’  Pledge is not about any daily chores which we do unintentionally but an activity which is being taught in every school so that we may grow up respecting people across genders among various other values.  Sex education is considered a taboo. Neither teacher in school nor parents at home are willing to teach their ward about the essential part of a human life. The result -lads grow by being taught by filthy magazines and movies which erode their mind with soiled thinking. Even C-Grade movies are termed educational. I have seen ample examples where a simple talk to a girl or inviting a friend (girl) to your house is highlighted by friends and society in the wrong way…and I believe –“Female assailants are not a result of a day’s fault…it’s the result of the cumulative impression about the gender female that grows from childhood.”


Onlookers may suspect I am supporting the cause of Women and am speaking as if there’s no fault of females…but I must say I am neutral in my views and this would surely clear all doubts…Yes, Girls are also to be blamed for their fate in many cases…knowing it very well about the mentality of Men around don’t you think it’s their fault by wearing provoking dresses and going out at wrong places at wrong time of the day.  I know it’s a person’s choice of what they wear and where they go but looking around about the society don’t you think a girl should be alert enough to her surrounding by not giving wrong signals?


“A girl today is a mother tomorrow and a mother is much responsible for their child’s behavior be it a son or a daughter.”
It’s said you teach a man you teach a person…you teach a woman you teach a generation. And when a woman is taught (either by circumstances or by society) about the wrong ideals it grows through the generation. How many families you know or seen where there is discrimination amongst their Son and Daughter?  Dowry is considered Evil but you would mostly find a mother in law (who is a woman herself) being the main reason behind an evil system that’s going on for generations. 

“When you cannot control and preach equality amongst your children…it’s useless to think of justice in society”
 It’s said Charity starts from home…it simply means when you have to be benevolent amongst your family members first to shower you kindness to the world.

Another regretful fact about debauchers is that almost 80% of these sexual abuses are committed by known people like friends and distance a family member…which again compels one to look at the root of these evils that is our family and our surroundings.
Therefore I believe the role of parents has increased to a manifold as a parent now, not only needs to teach their children to respect and look up both the genders equally but they should themselves behave ideally. It’s a parent’s duty to know about their wards surrounding like their friends group and the people they meet regularly.  They should take to their task about the behavior of their ward and the language they speak (especially when you found your ward speaking of any foul language) and should keep a close eye on the people they interact via social media, internet or the traits they follow by the movies they see. I am not talking of keeping restriction on all but one should carefully monitor about the timing and clothes their ward wears and places they visit.  It’s said Parents should become friends to their son/daughter after the age of 18 but I believe they should be friends right from their birth as such you and your children share everything with each other and in this way you would know what your child is going through from thick and thin and thus will be able to evade any mishaps in future as I firmly believe -

“Debauchers are not born in Terrorist camps…they are born out from the surroundings they grow in and it’s a cumulative Impression they form right from their childhood. ”

Journey of a Woman

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A cold jittery winter night in Pahalgam, India

Expecting father Mahesh was nervously meandering across the narrow stretch outside the Maternity ward. More than anything else he was worried whether it would be a boy or a girl.
Meanwhile her Wife Nandini though much in pain was hoping against hope that she be warded with a boy, knowing the fact that she is carrying a girl. She once felt of committing honour killing as she never wanted a girl as girl would mean all the suffering and probably much more than what she has to suffer. But weary of the laws of foeticide she decided against it.  Soon the news of the arrival of baby girl made her senseless and an eerie spread all over Mahesh’s face when he heard about it.


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This is MY Guest Article for  http://www.glad2bawoman.com.

A Revelation

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Introducing a Mother:

Have you ever thought about the pain a mother goes through for her child?
Right from the time a new born is still developing it’s sheen in a mother’s womb till the date when she finally goes off to heaven a mother is someone who always, invariably of her own state tries her best she can for her child.

It’s very difficult for you to lift and hold a weight of 100 grams for few hours but a mother does it not for hours or days or months, she does it for years. Starting from the time a new born is still in her womb, to the moment when her child takes baby steps for the first time till he becomes grown enough to live on its own a mother is striving everything for her son’s/daughter’s well-being in spite of bearing all the pain.
 Talking about physical pain do you know:  A Human body can bear only up to 45 Del (units) of pain. Yet at time of giving birth, a mother feels up to 57 Del (units) of pain. This is similar to 20 bones getting fractured at the same time.  It’s said you can bear physical pain…but this pain is unbearable even for the strongest of men.

Abiding the physical pain for the time being… can you estimate the attachment of a child to her mother?  An infant stops crying just at the glimpse of her mother. A mother remains awaken the entire night just to see her child sleep peacefully.  She would not eat until her child has his/her stomach full. A small injury to a child is clearly visible on the concerned face of mother. She would risk the entire world for the safety and prosperity of her child. The emotional bond of a mother with her child is the strongest of all relations.  When you have become an adult a mother is someone who has umpteen difficulty of eating her own food but would be seen with a glass of water caressing her son’s back on hearing him cough just once. A mother affectionate care can be very well understood from the story below:

Son: Mother, I feel ashamed while introducing you with my friends.
Mother:  Why so, son?
Son: You don’t have an eye and I feel awkward to let my friends know about it.
Mother: It’s all right son. I don’t need to meet your friends.

Every now and then Son would curse her mother for being handicapped. He would ask her what had happened to her. But she would never reply.

One day Mother finally met god after prolonged illness and she left a note for his son

Son,
I know i have never been an ideal mother for you because of my disability. You often ask me how I lost my eye.  I think it’s time I should tell you because if I don’t say it now I would never be able to speak again… son when you were very young you lost one eye while playing with a dagger. I cursed myself for not being able to protect you from losing your eye, consequently I gave my eye to you so that you can see and you won’t have to live with this disability all your life.

After reading it…son was floored with tears and now he could realize what a mother meant. Sadly it’s was too late for him as his mother was no more with him.


Introducing a Father:
First time he took his son into his arms and started crying. Tears are not for men but can you tell me how a man feels while holding his baby in his arms for the first time?  
A father is known as the first love for a daughter and knight for his son. Do you know the reason for this? He is the only person in this world who would hold their palms without any self motive. The only motive he has is the well being for his kid.
A father is someone who will forgo all for his child, a person who is strong, protective and caring. He would be a guide, a leader, a motivator, and a friend whatever you need he is the one for you. 
From a lamb in mother’s arm when you couldn’t eat of your own he was the one who would make you consume your supper with his hands. To a school going chap in shorts who came home crying with a bruised knee he is the one who would articulate you to be strong by applying Dettol at the affected area.  Finally an educated young man in his office inquiring about the incentives from an insurance scheme, a father is the one who will always speak of the most feasible option without giving any minuscule thought about his personal gain. He is the same all the years… he doesn’t change with your financial ability or your maturity. He would always be the one who adores you, cares for you and when everyone turns their backs on you, you will see a father standing beside you…The story below will make you realize the Worth of a father

Son: Dad, My business has blown away and now am in debt and everybody is refusing to give me a single penny. Please tell me dad what shall I do? Where I can get money?
Father:  Son, you Father is still alive don’t worry about the money.

After few Months…Son’s business overcame its losses and was running into profit, all because of the money his father paid for his debt.
Suddenly one day his Father died from a heart attack.
When son met the doctor he came to know that the doctor had warned his father a long time back of his Artery blockages …Son also came to know that his father had agreed for Bypass surgery and had also arranged the money for it but because of some unavoidable circumstances of his business…his father came up to the Doctor one fine morning and told him…”I have become old and one day or the other I have to leave this place but I cannot see my son losing till I am alive. So I have decided to give Money to my son and not for my operation.”

On hearing this Son was rueful…as the only thing that was left with him was the words his father would often speak to him: “One can always acquire the lost money but a life once lost can never be Acquired”

My intentions were not to let the readers know what a mother or a father mean but to cite an eye opening example of the fate our parents have to strain in their old age.
You know the most you can give to  any person is your time and parents are the one who gave their entirety be it their time, money or whatever they had possessed just for your well being …don’t you think you have some responsibilities towards your parents?
Don’t you think they need your respect, time and care if not, anything more during their old age?

Parents who staked their all just for you as you were their only heart and soul and today they have to strain for a painful death just because you don’t have time for them.
Few weeks back I read number of Old age Homes have doubled in the past 3 years …I was so much distressed on reading it that I couldn’t sleep the entire night thinking is this our modern society teaching us? Is this what our parents dream to spend the last few years of their lives? Is the concept of nuclear family means closing the doors for your parents as such either they die on streets or spend in Old age homes?  Is it the reward you give to your parents for realizing your goal to become a respectable person in the society by sending them to old age homes?

I cannot express my agony in words as I am pained to see the plight of our elderly parents.
Parents are most precious of any belonging that belong to us. It’s high time for us to open our eyes and realize the lifelong debt that the parents have on us and feel for their Loss they have been enduring just to make us win. You can never clear off the debts parents have on you even if you spend rest of your life in proposition to what they have done for you. Only thing you can do is to score some plus points for yourself by taking care of them by giving them the adequate Time, Care and respect or else
 Remember one day you will also get old and it will be you on the receiving end…!!!


Parents are the most Precious belonging that we have along with us and we must realize it in time or else we would lose our life in a dilemma of what we have gained and lost in a life worth mentioning…!!!